No otters but plenty of shongololos.

If you’re wondering where I’ve been, the answer is somewhere between a rock and a hard place, literally. Last week I took a break from make-up. high heels and cell phone reception to hike The Otter Trail – 42.5 kilometers of breathtaking coastline along the Garden Route.

Steep uphills were inevitably met with steep downhills and scaling cliff faces became just another day out of the office. Hopefully that’s enough to suitably impress you but honestly, there was never a moment I thought “What the frickity frick frick am I doing here?” And this coming from someone whose idea of exercise is a yoga class every now and then and taking the stairs at work. I’m not even what you might call an ‘outdoorsy’ person. In fact, the only camping I’ve done has been at music festivals and that hardly counts, does it?

For four nights and five days I slept in picturesque wooden cabins, made use of flush toilets with one-way glass (so you can stare at the sea while you pee, as you do) and paired lycra with hiking boots (a big trend this summer).

Of course, there were moments where I looked up to 90 degrees of rocky steps or across kilometers of treacherous terrain and swore to no one in particular (the rest of my four man team were usually a good five to 15 minutes ahead of me) but then I practiced my yoga breathing, made a hiking playlist in my head and soldiered on.

And just when my thighs screamed that they couldn’t take it any longer, I’d turn a corner to see a waterfall – the perfect place to refill my bottle with fresh running water and dine on Jelly Babies. 

We ate like kings (turns out chicken in a can is not nearly as hideous as you might imagine), slept for ten hours and woke up to the sound of crashing waves.

We crossed rivers (and occasionally bathed in them), made fires and stopped to see a whale tail frolic in the distance.

And on day five we eventually caught a glimpse of Nature’s Valley and walked the last kilometer along the beach – tired, dirty and pretty darn proud of ourselves.

My trail mix:
Every Day is a Winding Road – Sheryl Crow
I Would Walk 500 Miles – The Proclaimers
Every Breath you Take – Sting & the Police
Keep Pushin’ On – Inaya Day
The Scientist – Coldplay
Three Little Birds – Bob Marley
Survivor – Destiny’s Child

My Otter Trail tips:
Wear two pairs of socks, unless you like blisters.
Pack Jelly Babies – and lots of them.
Wet wipes are your friend.
Anti-inflammatories and pain killers will help you walk on day three.
Showering is overrated.
Find a good walking stick. It will help you hoist yourself up the mountain (and is good for bushwhacking).
Take pictures.
Head torches aren’t lame at all.